PushingPlay

Yes, that’s a picture of Sonic the Hedgehog with a sword… and yes, this is going to be a good old fashioned rant… so if you’re one of the morons who REALLY LOVES Sonic’s new style; stop reading now.

Otherwise… Hit the jump and find out whats rubbing my hedgehog the wrong way.

They gave Shadow a gun in his game, and it was predictably horrible. What makes them think a sword will turn the tide of popular opinion for Sonic? The last good Sonic game was Adventure 2 on the Dreamcast. Nothing since then has lived up to the Sonic name. Take for example Sonic the Hedgehog, on the 360. It was riddled with glitches, slow load times (in a game that’s all about speed, this problem is only exacerbated), camera and control issues. Secret Rings on the Wii was criticized, albeit not as harshly, for the exact same problems. Both titles saw comparatively low sales for for Sonic games, and the team began to panic. They decided that the best course of action would be to add more elements (read: bullshit) to the gameplay. The results are the clusterfucks you see above. The one at the top is from Sonic & the Black Night, and the second one is from Sonic Unleashed. One will feature our blue hero dueling evil knights to the death, and the other will have him transforming into a “werehog”, complete with super stretchy arms…. Ummmmm… WTF?!?! Apparently the developers don’t understand simple physics. When a ship is sinking, don’t add more superfluous junk that will only make it heavier, thereby sinking the ship even faster. Removing unnecessary material and stripping the ship to it’s hull and deck gives those aloft a better chance of survival. Get my awesome analogy? As it turns out, Sonic Unleashed was delayed in Japan until spring 2009, to allow the Team further time to “improve the quality of the game”. Hopefully that means “remove junk” rather than “add more junk”. Honestly, just let the poor rodent die with whatever shred of dignity he has left.